[Nunchuck]

MMMM, Snoqualmie pancakes!!

[Damage Inc.]

Great Job! I didnt make the list but i’m still giving myself a pat on the back for correctly guessing all the songs would kick ass! W.A.S.P. vs Jackyl there really won’t be a loser there but the old lady and I are pulling hard for “Blind in Texas”, need to find a way for the “russian hackers” to sway that vote. HAHAHAHA Thanks again you guys are killing it!

[Moostache]

Thanks so much for all you do…appreciate it all.

[Freewaymad]

You guys are awesome.

[Nunchuck]

Welcome Rockers, Peeps and Rock Band Freaks!!
Are you ready for?
RockFight Saturday Night — Wasp vs. Jackyl

 

 

RockFight Commissioner Sam J. Glarms stands in the center on the ring as our show begins.
Commissioner Glarms has a microphone and it looks like he has something serious on his mind, let’s go to him LIVE!

 

SJG – “Welcome RockFight fans! We have a great show tonight, but first there is something that must be addressed. During the March Mayhem RockFights, we had a lot of interference in matches. Tonight, we have instituted more measures to keep the RockFight in the ring. Tonight’s match will be a Lumberjack Match. There will be 12 people surrounding the ring in order to keep action in the ring and keep potential run-ins out of the ring. This and a few other measures have been taken to make sure we have the best RockFights possible. For those unfamiliar with the Lumberjack match, here is a quick rundown. We have 12 rough and ready combatants chomping at the bit to dispense some justice at ringside. Their job is to keep action in the ring. They are allowed to physically keep action in the ring by throwing anyone who steps outside the ring back into the ring. They are also charged with keeping anyone not in the match out of the ring. This one is gonna be one for the ages. We have a great night in store for all of you. We would like to thank Cheech & Chong for our great theme song this month “Rock Fight”! Now “Are You Ready!!!”

The arena lights go black… The spotlight shines on the stage where we see our Ring Announcer Towelie Buffer.
TB – “Welcome RockFight fans. Let’s welcome our special guest “Lumberjacks”! First hailing from Aberdeen, WA we have Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl… Nirvana!!!”
The guys from Nirvana are here. The Crowd starts to chant…
Holy Shit!!!
Holy Shit!!!
Holy Shit!!!

 

Nirvana make their way to ringside and take their positions on one side of the ring.

 

We go back to Towelie Buffer on the stage.

TB – “Hailing from Detroit, MI we have the Insane Clown Posse: Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope with their special guest Young Wicked!”

 

There is a full carnival scene going on here. We have circus music. We have tumbling midgets dressed in bondage gear, a sexy woman breathing fire and of course the Wicked Clowns themselves. The crazy procession makes it way to ringside and ICP and Young Wicked man another side of the ring. The crowd isn’t too fond of the Juggalos they are met with a chorus of boos. In turn, the clown group opens fire on the crowd with Faygo Soda… Oh the stickiness!!

 

We return to the stage and Towelie Buffer.

TB – “Joining us directly from the land of the internet, we have Giggling Dave, Super Cool Keith and “Bad Pun” Josh, the guys from Living Room Clutter podcast”

 

Down the aisle, adorned in Luchador masks and LRC Rocks T-Shirts are the LRC Boys. They are here to make a statement. It looks like the Chipotle workout has suited them well and they look ready for action. The Crowd chants…
Where did Sidd go!!!
Where did Sidd go!!!
Where did Sidd go!!!

As if on cue, many small pieces of paper fall from the rafters. On them it says… “Have you seen me” and a picture of the long missing Sidd.

 

 

We go back to the stage for the introduction of the last group of “Lumberjacks”.

TB – “Directly from Nova Scotia and fresh off Season 11’s Netflix release, we have Bubbles, Ricky and Julian… The Trailer Park Boys!!!”

Bubbles, Ricky and Julian make there way down the aisle. Ricky and Bubbles are throwing hash coins to the fans. Julian hold up his drink to Cheer the crowd, who love the Boys.

The arena is all a-buzz. It looks like they are ready to rock!!

We go to Gordon Caray and “Funk Master” Floyd Cooper with a rundown on the night’s event.
GC – “Holy cow! What an amazing group of lumberjacks tonight!”
FM – “Amazing! I love the Trailer Park Boys!”
GC – “Tonight we have the first ever Lumberjack Match at the RockFight Arena! This battle will pit two filthy-minded front men face to face and chainsaw to chainsaw!”
FM – “Blackie Lawless will represent his band W.A.S.P. and Jesse James Dupree will represent his band Jackyl!”
GC – “The only way to win this is by Knockout or Submission. With the lumberjacks keeping the law outside the ring, this match should be decided in this ring tonight! Let’s take a look at the “Lumberjacks”. We have some backstage interview footage with our correspondent JJ Nagin. Take it away JJ!”

 

 

We see JJ Nagin standing by with Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope and Young Wicked.
JJ – “I’m pleased to be standing here with the Insane Clown Posse! Thank you for taking the time to be here with us tonight. What makes the clowns want to be lumberjacks in this match?”
VJ – “We are here to be part of the RockFights! This shit is dope! Now we can whoop ass and not have to take a beating.”
S2D – “Man, you make us sound like bitches! Fuck that shit! We here to lay the hatchet on any piggy that try to fuck up this match!!”
Shaggy grabs the boys and they just straight up leave.

 

We cut to footage of JJ with Ricky, Bubbles and Julian.

JJ – “I’m very pleased to be standing here with Canada’s National wonder, the Trailer Park Boys. Hey guys, how did you get to be lumberjacks here today?”
Ricky – “I ain’t choppin’ no fuckin’ wood. I’m high as fuck!”
Bubbles – “It’s like wrestling, Ricky. We just keep the people in the ring and keep others out.”
Ricky -“How do I know which ones, Bubbs?”
Bubbles – “Blackie from Wasp and Jesse James Dupree from Jackyl are the guys in the match. We went over all this already, Ricky!”
Julian – “Ricky get your head out of your ass! We got a job to do! We need to get paid, stop fuckin’ around! We are glad to be here promoting Season 11 of the Trailer Park Boys on Netflix now!”
JJ – “Thank you guys. We are depending on you as lumberjacks to get the job done!”

 

We cut to JJ with Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl.
JJ – “I’m here with the guys from Nirvana. What brings you back to the RockFight Arena tonight?”
KC – “I always wanted to be a lumberjack!”
KN – “We are here because Courtney cost us our RockFight we want to keep that from happening to someone else.”
DG – “If Kurt wasn’t here I would say she is bottom-feeding tramp!”
The crowd starts to chant and clap…
She’s a Crackwhore!!
She’s a Crackwhore!!
She’s a Crackwhore!!

 

JJ – “How do you feel about being out there with the LRC crew? They helped GNR win.”
KC – “Those guys supported their favorite band, or at least that missing Sidd guy’s favorite band. We respect that and probably had nothing to do with his disappearance.”

Kurt and boys laugh maniacally and turn and exit.

 

The crowd loves Nirvana! As the crowd cheers, we see JJ with the LRC Crew.
JJ – “Hey guys, did you hear that? Nirvana gave you props and doesn’t hate on you at all. How is it being back here in the Arena?”
GD – “It’s great to be here. This place rocks! We love that we are an official part of a match tonight! Thank you to our fans, that make us the #1 rhythm game podcast!”
SCK – “We are serious tonight! We are the law here. No one gets by me!”
Keith make the bionic elbow into his hand over and over and looks quite menacing.
BPJ – “I predict Jackyl will feel the sting of the Wasp tonight.”
Keith looks angrily at Josh, so Josh adds…
BPJ – “We will pun-ish anyone out of line tonight!”
JJ – “Thanks guys! Let’s send it back to the ring where Referee Bobby Light is talking with physicians at ringside tonight Spindoctor and Dr. Housequake MD. Bob-Wayne Zim, Dom Epietro and SC Smith are the officials at tonight’s bout. Bobby Light now calls a meeting of the “Lumberjacks” to go over rules one last time.”

 

 

As the ring clears of everyone but Bobby Light, the lights go out. We see at spotlight at the stage. At first, it is only smoke, then we see Jesse James Dupree with a chainsaw in his hands. Across the arena on the opposite side, we see a spotlight — it is Blackie Lawless with a chainsaw… revving it up. Both men dash for the ring. They hit the center of the ring and chainsaws clash with a shower of sparks. The crowd chants…
Holy Shit!!!
Holy Shit!!!
Holy Shit!!!

 

 

That is all the time we have for tonight!!

 

Will they be able to disarm the beasts? Will this be sightless rampage? Will both combatants survive the blade of the chainsaw? Should we start a blood drive now? Will the front row resemble that of a Gallagher show? Will this be a sad ballad in the end?

These questions and many more will be answered on the conclusion of
RockFight Saturday Night!!!

 

The next exciting episode will be this Saturday Night!!

 

 

Remember to Rock Out… Life is Short

[naginalJJ]

So happy to be a part of this lol

 

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[Funk Meister Freud]

Hell yeah, fellas…I have my floatation device on.
This match is gonna be a helluva BLOODBATH!!!

[Freewaymad]

This is definitely like the front row at a Gallagher show. I’ve got my rain gear on for this bloodbath. Can’t wait for Saturday. Holy shit!!! Holy shit!!! Holy shit!!!

[Rushfan2112]

I’m still wondering how the hell Nun & Sy will chart a chainsaw & to what instrument ? ” src=”/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/default_SA_biggrin.gif” />

 

This is awesome! You guys every week.

 

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all the great songs & fun you provide us.

[froogle]

[Damage Inc.]

Jesse james better watch out, Blackie has a crotch full of saw blade and fireworks!

[JCLexicon]

BAH-GOD, somebody’s gonna get broken in half

 

#BrokenRockFight

[Spindoctor]

I was wondering when the green bastard was going to appear

This could get nasty nastier

I better stock up on bandages, splints, smelling salts & I’ll test out the painkillers for Dr. Housequake MD & my ringside first aid kits.

[Funk Meister Freud]

“Test out those painkillers”…lol ” src=”/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/default_SA_biggrin.gif” />

 

I been eating raw beef since last Sunday in preparation for this!

Deviant and illicit behavior, debauchery, drunkedness, dope smoking, cat fights and all around mass mayhem will be the order of the evening!

 

See everybody tomorrow night! What a way to end the month!

[Nunchuck]

 

Welcome Rockers, Peeps and Rock Band Freaks!!
Are you ready for?
RockFight Saturday Night — Wasp vs. Jackyl — The Conclusion

 

We join this match in progress. When we last saw, both men were dueling with chainsaws in the dark arena with sparks flying. The house lights come up and all the lumberjacks and officials try to separate the two front men. After a few moments, they pry the chainsaws from the hands of the combatants and let them go. The bell rings! Our match has begun. We go to Gordon Caray and “Funk Master” Floyd Cooper on commentary. Notably, Bubbles has disappeared under the ring and has now emerged as his alter ego — “The Green Bastard”. The crowd goes wild and starts to howl out Bastard, Bastard, Bastard, Bastard, Bastard.

 

GC – “Holy Cow they got the chainsaws out of their hands and they are now both letting out a flurry of punches and kicks. Blackie Lawless with a thumb to the eye. Blackie is now in control. He is stomping him hard in the corner. He now flips him over the top rope and on to the floor to the side of the Trailer Park Boys. Bubbles, dressed as the Green Bastard, grabs him quickly and lands a few forearm shots before sending him back into the ring.”
FM – “That is what a Lumberjack match is all about. Keeping it in the ring, while dispensing a little pain, that Bastard is a real veteran of the ring!!”
GC – “Blackie immediately stomps away at Jesse James Dupree. He is ruthless tonight! He sends him into the ropes. Jesse puts on the breaks, delivers a kick to the gut and sends him out of the ring to the side of ICP. The clowns start to lay some serious boots to the Wasp singer. Here come Nirvana over to join the melee. Dupree leans over the ropes and taunts Lawless. Violent J just grabbed him and pulled him over the top rope to the outside. Both men are taking a real beating. Super Cool Keith Climbs the ring-ropes and drops a huge elbow onto crowd of lumberjacks and the fighters. Bubbles, Ricky and Giggling Dave help the fighters back into the ring, while “Bad Pun” Josh and Julian try to help the downed lumberjacks on the outside. Both fighters are obviously beaten down. Outside the ring, physicians Spindoctor and Dr. Housequake MD attend to getting the lumberjacks up and back into place. The crowd cheers loudly and that seems to be giving the fighters a second wind. No surprise, we have another fecal chant!”

Holy Shit!!!
Holy Shit!!!
Holy Shit!!!

 

 

FM – “It looks like the top-notch crew here got all the lumberjacks back up into their posts at ringside. What an elbow!! It wiped out 5 guys at once!”
GC – “Just a little lumberjack justice Super Cool Keith style. We are back to the action, as the rejuvenated fighters are back to throwing punches again. Blackie takes control and is choking Jesse James with the top rope right above Nirvana.”
The lights go out — Arena is totally black!
GC – “As the lights come back on, we see Blackie Lawless stumble back into the corner clinging to the top turnbuckle. Jesse James Dupree is down and out. Also it appears Nirvana is also down on the floor. Referee Bobby Light begins the ten count, as Blackie holds on despite looking out on his feet. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9… 10. Jesse James Dupree cannot answer the bell.”

Bobby Light calls for the bell and tries to raise the hand of Blackie Lawless as he slumps to the mat.

 

Winner at 23:14 Wasp — KO, as Jesse James could not stand before the 10 count.

 

 

GC – “Holy Cow! what happened there? We are awaiting word from Commissioner Glarms on this matter. There is something foul here. I am certain there is fuckery about in the Arena tonight.”
FM – “I’m given word that Commissioner Glarms will address the situation during next month’s RockFight… I’m told next month will be another first for RockFights as we will be on the road at an as of yet undisclosed site. Next month’s fight announcement should be a doozy as we present RockFight Saturday Night: On the Road!!”
GC – “You heard the Funky one! Next month, we take this crazy show on the road. We hope to find out what the blue hell happened here tonight in our next episode. Don’t miss it. We are all out of time! For JJ and the Funky one, this is Gordon Caray signing off. Drinks are on me my friends!!”
JJ – “If Gordo’s buyin I’m in!!”
FM – “Me too!!”

 

 

Here are the winning songs in the closest results in RockFight voting history!!

 

W.A.S.P. – Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)

RB3 Link –

http://customscreators.com/index.php?/page/index.html/_/animal-fuck-like-a-beast-r16528

Phase Shift Link –

https://mega.nz/#!aF9yHSIY!us-BwAV1MGa3LtgbDsrFzNXZkpQPOFjQ7RItLXqFLQw

 

W.A.S.P. – Blind in Texas

RB3 Link –

http://customscreators.com/index.php?/page/index.html/_/blind-in-texas-r16527

Phase Shift Link –

https://mega.nz/#!TB9zkBjR!u1F2MspJEIObgo9vtJAdrhrZacJN5U3FSkJInR_YU6Y

 

W.A.S.P. – Forever Free

RB3 Link –

http://customscreators.com/index.php?/page/index.html/_/forever-free-r16526

Phase Shift Link –

https://mega.nz/#!iBlEgQzQ!hcOqARl8ZVdUDsU_5cEk_iNS9kUnFY7MPw03TUDwDbs

 

And some awesome Wasp Upgrades

W.A.S.P. – The Real Me

RB3 Link –

http://customscreators.com/index.php?/page/index.html/_/the-real-me-r11272

 

 

W.A.S.P. – Scream Until You Like It

RB3 Link –

http://customscreators.com/index.php?/page/index.html/_/scream-until-you-like-it-r11160

 

And another super cool upgrade

The Osmonds – Crazy Horses

RB3 Link –

http://customscreators.com/index.php?/page/index.html/_/crazy-horses-r11400

 

And one more new track

Icon For Hire – Get Well *based on chart by Maupy2 on Guitar, Bass and Keys

RB3 Link –

http://customscreators.com/index.php?/page/index.html/_/get-well-r16525

Phase Shift Link –

https://mega.nz/#!TENG3QzJ!Kr5rLu940inU_47YwEIZ2qpTsgqxr_3tlLCk-soHdww

 

Thank you everyone. Have a great weekend!!

 

Remember to Rock Out… Life is Short

[Author]

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